Wednesday, June 21, 2017

A is For Aardvark: A little More on Descriptions



     So, I’ve shared my two cents on descriptions. Don’t just slap some adjectives on a noun and call it good; take the concept in your mind—a character, an object, a scene, anything—and craft a string of words that impresses on the audience what you see. 

Now let’s expand our focus: what exactly counts as description?

When people say “description” they usually mean one of those time-stop moments where you take something and tell the audience all about it. I love those moments. When used properly, they do wonders for timing and flow (more on that later), bridge moments that need bridging, and add so much depth to the story. But they aren’t the only way things get described. 

Let’s use another example: 

"The boy ran down the street.”

This sentence conveys an action. It does the job well enough, but doesn’t provide much imagery. You could add an “ly” word: 

    “The boy ran quickly down the street.” 

But be careful with those. They can make perfectly good sentences feel stale, or worse, forced. No description at all is better than that. So how can we make this sentence say more without pin-on words or phrases? 

Synonyms. 

Almost every word in the English language has synonyms, from common replacements to ten-dollar words we rarely hear. And though they’re similar, few synonyms truly mean the same thing. Words have their own reputations—a feel they carry in addition to their technical meaning. Writers can take serious advantage of this. 

Going back to the example, dozens of words could replace run, each of them adding their own flavor to the sentence. Use “jogged”, and it takes the punch away, making it feel more easy and casual. Say “dashed” and the energy increases. “Carrened” implies panic or loss of control, and “charged” suggests aggression, or maybe childishness.

Taking it even further, hardly a word in this sentence can’t be replaced. 

“The   boy     ran       down the street.”
           child     dashed along                road
    lad      careened    parallel    cement
urchin    tumbled 
scamp   launched 

We have a huge language at our disposal. It’s a pity to leave all these lovely words unused. 
   
I admit that you can get some… unfortunate results using this method. weighing down your work with big words will sink it. This isn’t about choosing different words, it’s about choosing the right ones. Sometimes “run” truly is best, but you need to choose it on purpose. 

Paper is valuable real estate. If something doesn’t pull its weight—add depth, meaning, or interest—replace or remove it. That goes for characters, that goes for paragraphs, and it goes for every word on the page. 





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